Every transgender person experiences misgendering. The wrong pronouns may slip out accidentally, or reveal some underlying belief that you aren’t really what you say you are. Or they are deliberate, making a point. The trouble is, you don’t always know which it is, and to point it out can lead to saying far more than you should ever need to.
It was a bit like a bullet
tumbling through empty air
an interruption
a moment in thought
a maybe
Did you say ‘he’? No
I’m not asking, not really
I’m sure I misheard you
I mustn’t be sensitive
of course
If that’s what it was, I’m alert now
and I am ready to turn or duck
I’m twitching
alert to your words’
intention
I am pronoun selective
afraid of shooting myself
with your slip of the tongue
unconscious mate/guy/fella/he
meaning she
It’s not the word that wounds
but the mental image
the association
the feeling: but-you’re-really-a
aren’t you
Why should I need to explain
why I think ‘bullet’
when you say ‘he’
and it won’t make any difference
will it